Sitting with Our Student's Parents Part 2: Brenda's Story

 

Brenda at Neema

After talking with Angeline’s mother and getting pictures, Tessa, Irine, Pamela, Ellen, and myself, along with Brenda, walked back to Brenda’s house. I say “walked back” because that’s exactly what we did. As I said in my previous post, Angeline and Brenda grew up together and their houses are near one another. So we walked back behind Angeline’s house along a dirt path, then turned right and walked over a small homemade bridge, made of two big logs and smaller sticks forming the rungs, that spanned a two foot ditch that catches water runoff. Irine said that like Angeline’s home, Brenda’s home also floods when it rains. 


We walked up to a mud-walled home with a tin roof, wooden door, and exposed window with criss-crossed wire in its opening and fabric covering the inside, and were greeted by Brenda’s mom, dad, and two younger sisters. As we approached, I kept smelling something — a sweet, yet putrid, smell — the kind that turns a stomach. Irine took me around to the back and pointed out that there’s a brewer located right behind the house. I realized then that the smell was reminiscent of the breath of a drunk person. Off to the right was a large ditch full of black liquid similar to the color of tar. Irine said that it was wastewater from the brewing process. 

Having a brewer behind the house creates all sorts of problems for young women like Brenda and her sisters because it puts them at risk of abuse from the drunk patrons that visit there. 

Brenda’s parents welcomed us inside their home where the dirt walls and ceiling were covered with a white lace fabric. We sat together, and with Ellen translating, Brenda’s parents shared with us the impact Neema is having on their family. 

They first heard about Neema through a neighbor whose daughter was attending. Brenda went to traditional school through 8th Grade, but had to drop out because her parents had difficulty raising fees for her to continue on with her education (high school requires that a uniform and school supplies be provided by the family). Even though her mother has a small business selling small fish, tomatoes, and onions — she buys them whole sale at the market and then sells them to others — and her dad is a casual laborer who does farming for people, they still couldn’t afford to send their daughter to high school. So they asked their neighbor about Neema, and Brenda started in 2020. 

Over the past two years, Brenda’s parents have seen a big change in her. Her mother says that after finishing 8th Grade, and before joining Neema, Brenda — who normally loves talking — was alone most of the time and would isolate herself. But since joining Neema, she’s cheerful and now has hope in life.

Brenda with her siblings at home

Her dad agrees it’s true that she isolated herself and felt like life had come to an end — she didn’t see any reason for it. But by coming to Neema, Brenda was taught that her inability to continue on to high school doesn’t mean it’s the end of life. She accepted that and is now moving on and has hope in life. And in terms of the tailoring skills she’s learning, Brenda has been bringing good samples of her work home and can even give them to the neighbors. 

And just like Angeline’s parents, Brenda’s parents have benefited greatly from the guardian meetings that Neema provides, and her dad says they never miss one. Going has had a great impact on their parenting, and they are really grateful for that. One of the things they learned is that they need to love their children — they need to raise them in a loving manner by showing them love. And if their kids do something wrong, they, as parents,  need to forgive them and show them the right way to live life. He says they first observed this from the neighbor who attended Neema — they saw the changed behavior in the neighbor’s child, and they wanted that for Brenda. 

Once Brenda graduates later this year, her parents are eager to support her and help her start her own tailoring business. There’s a nearby shopping center where they’re looking for her to set up shop so she can continue to improve upon her skills and earn an income. But as they say, they need “financial breakthrough” to make this happen.